The Umi No Majo Curse
by YYG
Summary: A sea witch takes something immensely important from the Straw Hat's first mate, but what could it be? And how, and why, would Sanji possibly use it against him? Warning: SanZo yaoi, technical rape at first, swearing
1. Chapter 1

Me: Yeah, so...don't watch Disney Movies. You'll get weird ideas like this one I got after watching Hercules.

Mid: I don't know why Hercules would involve rape though...

Me: DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE; YOU WROTE IT TOO!

Mid: ...We don't own anything, maybe the plot. I'd say it takes place after Robin joins. Please enjoy our collision of twisted minds.

A Normal Day So Far

"Why the fuck do I have to do it while Luffy and Usopp are just goofing?" Zoro spat angrily at the ship's cook, folding his arms crossly. Sanji scowled at him as he puffed on his cigarette leisurely, the sounds of the captain and marksman playing Tag around the Merry's deck. Why should Zoro have to fish for food when it was Luffy's fault that they didn't have enough to last until the next island? Nami said it would take approximately a week to arrive there; wherever Gonkenji Island was. Luffy had already eaten the meat stock without leaving so much as a single crumb for anyone else. He apologized, as always, claiming that he was really hungry at night, but that very well didn't explain why he got out of trouble for it.

"Because, shithead, I told _you_ to do it," Sanji hissed begrudgingly, "So if you wanna eat tonight, I suggest you get your dumbass moving."

Zoro felt anger bubble in his chest as he growled lowly, holding Wadou up threateningly to the cook's throat at lightening speed. The blade gently scraped his Adam's apple as Zoro sternly stated a simple, "No." Sanji gave his own heated growl and used his foot to lightly kick the sword away, but Zoro had an advantage in upper body strength. Wadou barely moved an inch. Smirking cockily, the swordsman pressed a bit harder to see what the cook would do, and, to both of their shocking surprises, Sanji flew backwards hard into the railing. Sharp pain engulfed his lower back, and a large bruise was more than likely to form later on. Zoro blinked as he stared at his precious weapon in his hands. He did _that_?

Sanji groaned in pain; his eyes widening with shock. Something told the first mate that the kick of a lifetime was coming straight for his face, but he felt nothing. At some point, Zoro had closed his eyes (perhaps expecting immediate impact), and he opened them cautiously, locking gazes with the cook. Time seemed to be at a standstill as the two silently watched each other, and Zoro felt something he never felt before; strange pride in seeing that his strength outranked Sanji's by a long shot.

Usopp and Luffy's sounds were drowned out by Sanji's inner rage fit. He wanted to kick and scream and tear Zoro's shit eating grin off, but he did none of the above. He simply cleared his throat, smoothed down his suit jacket as if it had been stained, and stalked back inside the ship. Zoro could hardly believe Sanji just strolled away from a fight with his composure still intact.

"...You should apologize," Luffy's voice was suddenly beside him, his expression as stoic as ever. Zoro scoffed lightly at that; like he would apologize to the overly dramatic idiot. The captain glanced at the other idly, scratching the back of his head as he sighed. He knew his first mate wouldn't; it was hopeless to talk about it.

"Are you sure?" Luffy questioned, quirking his eyebrow.

"Yeah. Besides," Zoro shrugged, "it's not like he'll let me go hungry. Prissy cook wouldn't dare."

"I don't think you should use his kindness as an advantage, though..."

"It's his job, isn't it? He should do it regardless," Zoro bit back.

"Mm," Luffy hummed dully as he turned to walk away, calling out for Chopper to join them in their game excitedly. Zoro watched him run towards the stern and eventually disappear behind the mikan bushes. He vaguely wondered what point Luffy was trying to get across until he side glanced at the fishing pole the love cook set against Merry's mast earlier. He glared half-heartedly at the straw hat loosely hanging off of the reel handle. So, basically, he had no choice but to (technically) apologize. Damn percipient captain.

The swordsman begrudgingly snatched up the fishing pole, slapped the straw hat over his head softly, and huffed as he made his way over to the side of the ship. Zoro knew how to fish, of course. Albeit, he hasn't done it in quite a long while. He searched for a bucket, or a bowl, or _something_ he could use as bait; how the hell did the shit-cook expect him to fish with nothing to lure said fish? Zoro cursed mentally, scavenging the deck for anything that might seem to work. The only things he could participate with were wood and metal, and he was fairly sure neither of them would attract something edible.

A bright light suddenly blinded his vision, causing him to blink rapidly and lean backward slightly. Zoro spotted a single, small, red jewel on the deck; its shiny design and coating reflected the sun's rays in all directions. He picked it up and stared at it; must be one of Nami's. An idea sprang into his mind from noting how radiantly it shined. Fish liked colorful, bright objects, right? Nami wouldn't know if only _one_ of her jewels went missing, would she?

"The question is...how the fuck do I bait it?" Zoro mumbled to himself. He obviously couldn't jab the hook through it, or pierce it in any way. After thinking of multiple, though useless, ways, Zoro growled in frustration and tore the hook off the line altogether. Screw it, Usopp was the expert at this sort of thing. He scowled at the pole and almost threw it down before his brain reminded him of something. Or someone.

_"You should apologize."_

_"Mm."_

Zoro's hand absently flew towards the rim of the hat. He sighed. For the captain at least, not the shitty cook. The jewel shimmered in his palm as the slight breeze blew the hook-less string over it, and Zoro got another idea. He tied the string around the ruby's middle tightly and tugged on it to make sure it wouldn't slip out. He grinned smugly; how did he not think of this before?

Satisfied, Zoro tossed the line in and leaned the pole against the railing. He flopped onto the floor, crossed his legs inwardly, and stared out into the open sea, waiting. It probably wouldn't be best to nap at a time like this; then again there was nothing else to pass the time. His eyes fluttered until his head lolled downwards, wavering on the tempting verge of sleep. As he drifted off, something suddenly tapped his boot lightly. Zoro cracked an irritable eye open, expecting the cook to appear out of nowhere, but to his shocking disappointment, it was only the fishing pole. Did he have a bite already? And why was he hoping that Sanji was there instead?

A sharp tug bent the fishing pole in half; fortunately Usopp made them flexible. Whatever Zoro caught, it was abnormally strong for a fish. When he tried to reel it in, the handle wouldn't budge no matter how hard he pulled. It was _really_ strong then. "Come on," he groaned. One last jerk sent the line flying through the air, and the creature certainly was big, but not at all what Zoro expected. Instead of a fish, or whale, or sea king for that matter, it was just a woman. She held onto the ruby as she hung in mid-air, blinking in confusion. Zoro crinkled his nose in distaste at her light green hair, which was tattered and uncombed with several sea stars decorating it. She wore nothing but a tight corset made out of kelp and shells; something that Zoro didn't care to pay much attention to.

"Oi, oi!" The woman shouted angrily at him, "The hell do you want? Aren't you gonna pull me in?"

"Why the hell would I do that?" Zoro spat. He didn't care if she was a drifter, ship-less, or some kind of mermaid. Anyone who cares more about a stupid piece of jewelry than their life isn't worth saving! "Get off my line, you damn sea hag."

"You idiot, why would you fish with a gem if you didn't want to summon me?"

Zoro stared at her in silence for a moment. "Because I didn't have any bread," he clarified. The woman wasn't pleased with that answer. She repeatedly swung her body towards the rail and jumped on the ship gracefully; the ruby never leaving her hand.

"The fuck are you doing?" he questioned irritably, "Leave. Now, woman."

The woman flicked her long, sea-salted hair in his face, much to Zoro's disgust, and snorted. "My name is Azami, but you have the pleasure of calling me Queen. Also, I _can't_ leave; I've already taken your jewel. I must do something for you in return."

"...How about you just give it back?"

Azami squeezed the ruby in her palm lightly, and Zoro watched in confusion as it disintegrated into nothing more than dark sand. She smiled and breathed a relaxed sigh, returning her attention to the gawking swordsman. What...what just happened? Wasn't she like Nami, all money-hungry? Azami giggled, which sounded like Zoro's ears were being shredded, as the sand blew overboard into the rippling waters beneath. "Can't give it back now," she chuckled.

:~:

Rice. All they had on the ship was _rice_ to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. There were only so many rice dishes and recipes that Sanji knew, beside the fact that he didn't have enough spices to make majority of them. So, silently fuming while angrily stirring a large pot of white rice was bound to piqué the concern of the women behind him sooner or later. "Sanji-kun? Are you feeling okay?" Nami asked, knowing a floating heart would probably hit her on the forehead in the next second. However, even Robin raised an eyebrow at the lack of response. The cook's shoulders were rigid, and his movements were stiff as if he had be completely still for weeks on end.

"Cook-san?" she tried a little louder, but Sanji still hadn't acknowledged her.

"Cook-san?"

"-bastarded, stick-swinging-"

"_Cook_-san?"

"-mold headed, asshating-"

"Sanji-kun!"

"-motherfucker," Sanji finished with a grind of his teeth. The navigator and archaeologist sighed simultaneously in exasperation. Zoro must be the cause of the cook's rage, Robin concluded, but what happened to make Sanji _this _upset? Nami tried a different approach, one that would be foolproof (normally) on getting his attention. "My, Robin," she gasped dramatically, pressing her hands against her cheeks, "I think my _bikini string _is _broken_!"

No floaty hearts, no enormous amounts of blood spewing everywhere, no over-exaggerated love poems; Sanji just loomed over the counter, giving each grain of rice a dirty look.

_That bastard_, he mentally yelled, _how the hell did he get so strong? __**When **__did he get so strong? I thought we were equal, though I was obviously better. Damn it, as if his regular upper body strength wasn't bad enough. I've got to have __**something**__ over him; I know it. My charm? Cooking? Smarts? That Neanderthal doesn't have any of that for sure._ Sanji grinned deviously to himself, _And I'm positive the moron's never gotten laid before._

Yes, if Sanji had some type of an advantage over the swordsman, it absolutely had to be sex. He met at least two women who were interested in him at every port and, considering there was enough time, he'd stay at an inn with them for a night. Being a gentleman and not an uncouth slob certainly had magnificent results. What woman in her right mind would _want _Zoro willingly? Granted, his dark eyes might be a little alluring, and the rippling muscles he has aren't bulging like a monster's, and his ambitions are respectable, and he's actually able to be nice if he wants...

But that hair! Just weird and unnatural!

Well, it sort of worked on Zoro. Sanji would almost call it cute.

_Why the hell am I even thinkin-_-

"Sanji-kun?"

The cook yelped as he flinched at the sudden closeness of a random, but lovely, voice. The pot of rice was almost tipped over in his haste. Nami was right by his side, staring with wide, disbelieving eyes. Robin watched as Sanji apologized genuinely and went back stirring, hoping that the starch wouldn't be over cooked from his distracting thoughts.

"I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU!"

"WELL, THAT'S JUST TOO GODDAMN BAD!"

_"LEAVE!_"

"NO!"

A scream followed after the shouting; it sounded extremely feminine, too much so to be Usopp. The three in the galley rushed outside quickly, spotting the captain and sharpshooter on the way out. Chopper followed behind them, medical bag in hand and ready for anything. However, none of them were ready for this.

Azami was lifted high in the air above Zoro's head by said swordsman, who looked ready to snap and go on a violent rampage. Sanji growled to himself; he didn't know her, but no woman should be handled roughly! And Zoro looked like he was going to throw her _overboard_!

"Put me DOWN," she roared, thrashing in Zoro's hands.

"Will you leave already if I do?" he asked calmly.

"FAT CHANCE!"

Zoro shrugged casually, "Alright." Just as he aimed her for the water, sharp pain engulfed both of his ankles, and he felt his weight numbly drag him to his knees. Azami should have fell on him, but didn't, unlike he expected. He glanced back, immediately scowling at the shit-cook towering over him with the sea hag heroically in his arms. The bastard needed to stay out of things for once.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing, Zoro?" Nami scolded. She would have knocked him on the head if he didn't appear to be pissed enough already. Azami scoffed and climbed down from the cook, ignoring him as if Sanji didn't exist or, better yet, save her from a rather nasty fall. She patted herself down, snootily cleaning off her seaweed corset and matching short skirt with a displeased frown. Robin suddenly made an uncertain noise in the back of her throat; something completely unusual for the normally composed woman. Azami spotted her distraught expression, and gave an oddly smug smile in return. The rest of the Straw Hats stood in puzzlement, though.

"Nico Robin," she stated sweetly. Zoro rolled his eyes; bipolar hag.

"Queen Azami," Robin nodded curtly.

"I presume everything is fine since we last met each other. You know, when you ripped my head right off my shoulders?"

"Terribly sorry about that; I was only doing what I was told. I hope there are no hard feelings for that little objective."

"Perish the very thought, darling! I've had worse things done to me. My, how you've grown since then!"

Zoro crossed his arms over his chest impatiently. "So, are you leaving or what?" he said dryly, earning a brutal kick in the shin. Azami pointed an accusing finger at him, and was about to repeat what she had already told him countless times until Robin interjected with a soft gasp. Again, the poor Straw Hats were left in the dust. "Kenshi-san, you didn't throw a gem into the ocean, did you?" she questioned.

Zoro didn't know how to respond. The older woman said it as if it meant the end of the world. Apparently his silence answered for him, and Robin shook her head in raging annoyance. "W-Why?" Zoro frowned, "What does it matter?"

"If you did, you're a fucking idiot."

Everyone's attention went towards Sanji, who took a long drag from his cigarette. He was leaning slightly on the very rail he was thrown into moments ago, Zoro noted. Robin hardly expected to have her so called "thunder stolen," but was more than willing to know how the other knew about this sort of thing. After another drag was blown out of his lungs, Sanji continued, "Sailors threw small bits of their treasure in the sea whenever they needed a favor for generations. May it be financial, advice, or sexual, Sea Witches came to the ships immediately. Once they take what you had to offer, they use it to add on to their life spans and you can't get it back. Sea Witches won't leave until they've repaid you. If you wait too long or piss them off, they'll take something important from you. Whether you get it back or not is up to them." Sanji flashed a miniature smirk, "So, kelphead, what're you gonna do?"

The Merry was dead silent for once; nothing but gentle waves could be heard as everyone stared patiently at the swordsman, who was irritated to no end. He didn't want _anything_. He didn't know about this strange, unnatural shit before. Couldn't this count as an accident and they could move on? Considering Luffy's enthusiastic shouts, he couldn't.

"I want my own chicken," the captain claimed. Almost everyone's eyebrows disappeared into their hair lines for a split second at that honest statement as Luffy only stood there as if nothing was amiss. Nami came to her senses before anyone else, "Uh...why?"

"Hm? OH! Because chickens make eggs, which means endless food! And if I get tired of eggs, I can _eat the chicken_," Luffy grinned manically.

Azami shook her head solemnly, "I'm afraid I can only give something to...Zoro, was it? So I suggest you quickly make your decision, mutant marimo."

Ignoring the obvious amused expression on Sanji's face, along with the snickers, Zoro growled at the overused insult. The sea witch was offering to give him anything in the world, and yet he wanted nothing but for her to leave the Merry, or maybe this life. There was something off about her, strangely so that Zoro didn't want to get involved with her. Whether it was her tattered looks, her crude nature, or the devious vibe coming off her. "Fine, you know what I want?" Zoro finally stated dryly, "I _want_ you to leave."

"ARGH! You are so damn frustrating! I gave you a chance and you went and blew it foolishly! Something of yours is now mine to keep; Hell only knows if you deserve it back!"

Zoro only hoped that it wasn't Wadou.

Suddenly, the swordsman felt as if he had been shot by a pistol, and the wound was inflicted on his entire body. His head ached powerfully, he legs actually felt weak, and his heart hammered in his chest at a life-threatening speed. A transparent, crimson cloud formed around his now limp limbs, and it shot towards Azami's raised, expecting hand, taking Zoro's will to stand as well. He fell forward onto his knees, panting lightly as his eyes drooped closed. Zoro could have sworn his heart stopped before he saw darkness, and the faint sound of Luffy's rage rung in his ears. He finally collapsed onto his back with a single labored breath.

The cloud was the same color as fresh blood, making it look more radiant than it actually was. Azami, dismissing the shocked and concerned faces of the crew, hummed as she studied it. The swordsman apparently needed this if he was ever going to fulfill his dreams, a very egotistical one if she did say so herself. "_O great oceans far and wide, in your depths let this attribute temporarily reside_," she quoted as the cloud flickered violently. What was once Zoro's flew into the water a few yards away, a strong and loud explosion following afterwards. It rocked the Merry a bit, but did her or anyone else no real harm.

The sea witch raised her eyebrows in surprise, resting her chin on the back of her hand casually. "Wow, far bigger than a normal person's," she commented.

No one could stop Luffy from charging at her, not even Robin and Sanji's warnings of what the outcome would be. The captain still chose to swing at Azami, who expertly caught his fist in mid-attack. Luffy scowled at her as she squeezed it teasingly, and set it down back at his side. Luffy didn't attempt anymore movements. "I didn't kill him," she clarified, "and he should get it back within a week. It will teach him a lesson, that is, if he isn't too thick headed." She jumped over the railing skillfully and fell in the water with a small splash; Luffy rushing over the edge as fast as he could. If he couldn't fight her, he only had one important question to ask before she vanished.

"What did you take from him?!" he yelled, but he only received bubbles coming up to the surface.

:~:

Chopper checked Zoro's entire body for cuts, poison, blood, gashes, but there was nothing. No bones broken like usual or head trauma; he simply fainted. There really was no reason for him to be in the infirmary, he should be waking up any second. Everybody waited for him restlessly, especially the love cook. Seeing Zoro unable to do anything to defend himself or fight back always made Sanji feel superior, even if it only lasted for a couple of hours. But now he knows that he'll never be superior, not with the swordsman's current enormous strength boggling his mind constantly.

"Oi, Chopper, find anything?" Sanji asked, chewing on his unlit cigarette impatiently.

Chopper appeared to be confused, twirling his hooves together, "No, nothing. That's what's worrying me. When you faint, it's either because you're overwhelmed, or because you're lacking something. But Zoro...he's perfectly fine. I can't help in any way." The young doctor was practically in tears because of his uselessness, and Sanji's heart almost broke at the sight. Chopper was the kind of person that should never be sad, that didn't deserve to have his feelings hurt. Just like an overprotective big brother, Sanji patted the other's hat while rubbing his antlers comfortingly, receiving a small sniffle for his efforts.

The cook smiled, "I'm sure it'll be alright. There's nothing serious to worry about."

"Sanji...?" Chopper timidly called.

"Yes?"

"Why...are you in here in the first place? You've never come in here when Zoro was hurt."

The blonde man blinked. Why _was_ he in the infirmary? He hated medical things; their looks, smells, procedures; but he hadn't even noticed them. It seemed like it was only him, Chopper, and an unconscious Zoro in the room. He shrugged lightly, claiming that he felt he needed to be present, but he knew that wasn't the whole truth.

"_Zoro~! Wake up~! Right now~! Be okay~! So we can play~! ALL DAY~! Hooray~!"_ The captain's booming voice could be heard from the deck, along with Nami demanding that he be quiet for the swordsman's sake. Why he thought singing would help the situation, Sanji didn't know. He was too busy thinking about different rice and sushi recipes for tonight. Or tomorrow night. Or whenever Zoro woke up.

Dinner had already passed, the Merry was soundless and dark as the sun declared its job was done for the day. Zoro hadn't woke up yet, even after the table was cleared and the multiple dishes were washed. It wasn't Chopper that stayed by his bedside, oddly enough and to everyone's puzzlement, Sanji _wanted_ to look over him instead. Luffy supposed it was fine, but his exact words were "_Don't you dare try to fight him when he wakes up."_ Sanji took that as an okay to be the swordsman's guardian.

So, being forbidden to smoke his cigarettes inside the infirmary, the cook sat on the edge of the mattress, one long leg crossed over the other lazily as he leaned his upper body on the bed post. Suddenly, Zoro gave a loud yawn, sitting up so casually like he just had a normal fucking nap. It pissed Sanji off to no extent. He was expecting panic, frantic motions, or even screams of pain. But no, the idiot swordsman only scratched the back of his skull with little interest and arched his back in a long stretch. Zoro looked around, confusion obvious on his tired features, "What happened? Why am I in here?"'

"You pissed off a sea witch. Actually, you pissed of the _Queen_ of Sea Witches. You're literally, royally fucked," Sanji explained, chuckling at his own joke. Zoro gave him a sour look and then shrugged once he noticed all three of his swords lying on Chopper's desk. As long as they were safe, as well as the crew, Zoro didn't give a damn what the witch took. It probably wasn't that important to him as she thought it was anyway.

"Cook..." the swordsman called.

"Mm?"

Zoro could have asked multiple things including why Sanji was there, if they had dinner already, if the crew was worried or not, what time it was, but he didn't. He wanted to know something more than anything else, and it didn't make sense to him. Why did he care about what the cook felt? And he was positive it wasn't guilt that pushed him to this. Perhaps it was Luffy's subliminal messages. Then again, Zoro didn't think "subliminal messages" and "Luffy" could be put in the same sentences.

Choosing to stare at Sanji's dress shoes instead of his curious, expectant face, Zoro absently fiddled with the blanket. "Are you...still angry about earlier?"

The cook, apparently startled by the topic, raised an eyebrow. Zoro was acting quite timid, which usually wasn't the first mate's way of acting on things. Sanji slowly shook his head, debating on whether or not he should speak. It felt extremely awkward to hear the concern in the other's voice for once. The silence itself was deafening afterwards; Zoro still playing with the blanket's corner and Sanji focusing on the doorknob.

"Why are you here?" he said roughly, making it seem like a normal argument-starter between them. Sanji only blinked a few times. Did Zoro not _want _him to be here for some reason? Even though Sanji did it out of the kindness in his heart?! That bastard!

"I was trying to be nice, you asshole! I even kept your food hot for you!"

"_Why_ are you being nice _to me_?"

"Because I CAN! Because I'm emotionally and physically _able_ to, unlike some barbaric plants!"

"You're never nice to me," Zoro spat, "Why are you starting now?"

"If it's so unusual, maybe I should stop all together! No more extra booze, no more giving you more meat whenever Luffy steals yours, no more going easy on restocking so you won't have to carry as much; I'm a nice person, damn it!"

"I don't _need_ you to be nice to me! It's weird and, frankly, it isn't you." Zoro didn't know what or why he was saying this anymore. It only seemed to make the cook angrier in general.

"Are you saying I'm _not_ kind?" Sanji bit out through clenched teeth.

"Only to women. Though I doubt how you treat them is considered kind."

Something curled around Zoro's neck before he could sense the other moving or stop him. Sanji's hand, his precious cooking tool, squeezed the swordsman's throat lightly, but kept a firm grip. Zoro brought up a single hand and clasped it around the other man's wrist to forcibly pull it away, but to his surprise, he couldn't. Zoro tugged and struggled effortlessly until his fingers began to hurt from how hard he was gripping. How had the cook become so...so _strong_ in such a short amount of time?

The blonde man could only stare in sick pride and amazement at Zoro's determined efforts. Was he just mocking him? He couldn't be; Zoro was obviously starting to panic. Sanji knew his grip was nothing more than a feather touch, but the other was acting as if it were a noose. However, this observation didn't stop his rage. "Just because I don't show it dramatically, I guarantee that I'm kind. And stop faking, you ass. I know you're stronger than that," Sanji growled.

Zoro bit his bottom lip out of frustration. No matter how hard he tried, his arms appeared to be too weak to even move a leaf. Saying that the cook was stunned was quite the understatement. Sanji was barely touching Zoro's neck now, but the swordsman still couldn't push his hand out of the way. At this exact moment, Zoro stopped his movements and met Sanji's tranced gaze; it was just like earlier, only their roles switched. The embarrassment, the strange pride, and, for Sanji's part, a bit of arousal.

The swordsman didn't try to move the hand anymore; that would cause more humiliation. It was fairly clear that he physically couldn't. So, having no other choice, Zoro sat there in the eyes of the cook, waiting patiently for him to finally move. Though, Sanji had no such of intentions. The light, barely noticeable blush on the marimo's face was...overwhelming. Almost too much to bear. Slowly, while watching the fear sink into Zoro's expression, Sanji leaned in closer and closer, holding Zoro's face in place. The cook felt Zoro's neck muscles tense, obviously wanting to escape. Why couldn't he fight back?

Sanji pressed his lips against the first mate's stoic ones firmly. He forced his tongue past Zoro's soft lips, which tried their best to stay closed. His mouth was incredibly hot; the cook never imagined how amazing another man's mouth could be, even though said man wasn't participating. Zoro continued to struggle after a moment's hesitation in shock, attempting to push Sanji away by his forehead but having no such luck. The invading tongue tickled pleasantly, and if it were anyone else doing this to him, Zoro probably would have let them. But not Sanji; that was where he drew the damn line.

"C-cook," he managed when Sanji finally pulled back for air. There was strain in his voice, a mixture between anger, humiliation, and desire. The blonde's blue eyes bore into him intensely; what he wanted, Zoro couldn't tell. And it frightened him.

"Get off me," the swordsman breathed in a whisper, afraid that his voice would crack if his volume rose.

"...What if I don't want to?" Sanji smirked lightly.

"You don't get a fucking choice. Get. Off."

"Why don't you make me, shithead?" The cook took a hold of both of Zoro's wrists, and slammed them above his head with no resistance whatsoever. Zoro...actually let him do it, and he wasn't trying to escape seriously. A few wiggles and squirms were given, but he could have broken free if he really wanted.

"You're sick, Marimo," Sanji hissed, deliberately tightening his grip, "You just like playing the helpless victim."

_Helpless...?_

Zoro's thrashing became wilder, but still did nothing helpful. "I am _not _helpless, Shitty cook! I'll fucking slice you to bits!"

Sanji didn't respond. He used one hand to keep Zoro's wrists together, and used his free one to trail down the other's well-toned torso. Zoro arched his body away from the hot touch immediately, that simple action being possible the only thing he could do at this point.

A knock on the door made Sanji scowl and reluctantly release the swordsman. Zoro threw a punch towards his head, but only accomplished awkwardly quirking his head slightly to the side. Chopper walked into the room on that precise moment, ecstatic about the swordsman's conscious state, but confused over the strange position they were in. Sanji frowned as well, fairly sure that that should have knocked him out, or at least somewhat hurt.

Chopper closed the door, "Zoro? How do you feel?"

As Zoro leaned into the pillows and opened his mouth, he glanced at Sanji for a split second, feeling his bones turn ice-cold. The cook gave him the dirtiest of looks, silently promising nothing short of death would occur if he said something. A lump in his throat formed suddenly as he stared at the young doctor, who had already went to retrieve his clipboard. "Well?"

"I...I would appreciate a check-up," Zoro mumbled, crossing his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

The Simple Things in Life

Chopper immediately acknowledged his request, and told the cook that he could leave if he wanted. He felt weird tension between them as Sanji purposely hesitated at the door, and Zoro suddenly shivered, but he dismissed it. Perhaps the swordsman just needed more blankets. After fetching his medical tools, the reindeer stood at Zoro's bedside while the swordsman sat up.

"You never ask me for a check-up," Chopper said flatly, removing his tongue-presser from Zoro's mouth, "I always have to force you. Why now?"

Zoro shrugged lazily. Should he tell Chopper right away, or let him discover it himself? Granted, his curiosity was getting the best of him, not to mention his anger meter was about to break. What in the hell gave Sanji the right to molest him? This was a serious problem, and the cook's first reaction was to pin Zoro down? And why did he actually, sort of _enjoy_ it? Stupid shitty cook, stupid shitty sea hag; how was he suppose to know throwing jewels into the ocean had these types of consequences? Being cursed and humiliated? Still, Zoro kept his mouth shut about his sudden inability to overpower a single dust mite, and the situation with Sanji.

Soon Chopper was putting away each tool carefully back into their respective cases as Zoro stared, waiting for results. The young doctor widely smiled at him, and clapped his hooves together. Zoro didn't like that sign one bit. "You're fine, Zoro! Perfectly healthy," Chopper stated happily, his smile fading once he noticed how distraught the other seemed. "Why that face?"

"Because something's wrong with me; I know it," Zoro muttered, "I just can't explain it."

The truth is, he_ could _explain it, but chose not to say it, since the only possible way was to accept shame. He was..._weak_ now; incredibly so. He wasn't sure if he was even able to withstand his own body weight anymore. There was nothing physically wrong him that Chopper couldn't find, so what else could be the cause?

"Well, just explain how you feel and maybe I could help," Chopper suggested.

Zoro slowly closed his eyes, leaned his back on the wall behind him, and breathed deeply. If he entered a meditative state, maybe he would be able to describe it in a more dignified way. Block out all external stimuli; loosely relax the brain and the body simultaneously. Breathe in slowly, breathe out controlled. Breathe in, breathe out.

His chest grew tight.

"Something's off-balance," Zoro whispered shakily. It was like he was a kid again, starting to meditate daily, but his mental and physical strength had yet to connect. Was it possible that the witch took _every ounce _of his strength?

His leg was given a small pat, and Zoro's eyes sprung open at lightening speed. The concern in Chopper's eyes was reassuring, though Zoro could live without ever seeing it that kind of emotion on him. He rubbed the reindeer's shoulder lightly, claiming that he was fine before standing up, surprised that he hadn't fallen over. He felt normal, if not a bit sleepy, and that's what worried him.

He slipped on his boots and stood, not bothering to make the bed. Chopper always complained that he didn't do it right. "I'm just gonna go train," Zoro yawned. He noticed the food tray Sanji left behind, still piled with untouched white rice and vegetables underneath the dome. Zoro wasn't feeling very hungry at the moment.

Chopper fussed, telling him that it was best to eat his meal now, to regain proper body functions, and picked up the plate, forcing it into his hands. Hell, he could hardly hold the glass plate without his fingers aching. Zoro looked so...sad. Just looking at him made Chopper want to cry. Nothing was medically wide of the mark; perhaps he had troubles he needed to sort out? But even then, the swordsman always kept his feelings to himself, not wanting to show any weaknesses though they were all nakama. Chopper pouted; he wanted to help, but didn't know what the problem was! _Think, Chopper! What would make __**me **__feel better if I were sad?_

"I love you, Zoro," the doctor smiled and waved cheerfully, confusing the other halfway towards the door. Zoro blinked. "Uh, love you, too..." he said uncertainly. With that, he left the room, still seeming extremely depressed. Chopper sighed, it was worth a shot anyway.

Staring down at the plate made Zoro realize something. He'd need to return it to the galley sooner or later.

:~:

The galley was obviously off-limits, meaning the only other place containing sake was the storage room directly below deck. Nami's been known to get angry whenever Zoro drank straight out of the barrels, (something about germs) but right now, he had no choice. Honestly, the cook's bedtime was a mystery to him, therefore, Sanji could still be in the kitchen even after midnight. And Zoro needed booze.

Sneaking around the Merry made him feel ridiculous. Everyone was in bed, not waiting at the next corner to pop out and scare him. Zoro soundlessly turned the door handle, slide through the small opening he made, and bit his bottom lip as he slowly closed it. There were no windows, so he could stay in here all night. It was total darkness. Form a pillow out of a cannonball, use his haramaki as a blanket for his top half; yes, this would work just fine.

After finally finding the sake supply, _barrel _after _barrel_, Zoro failed in moving a single one. It was simply impossible, like they were nailed to the floorboards. He tried at every angle; he even kicked it once, and ended up with a throbbing toe. _They weren't budging. _Zoro huffed in defeat and settled for leaning wearily against the wall, still facing what he was apparently forbidden to have. Sighing, the swordsman tugged at his hair irritably. "Where's the Juyondai*?" he asked himself. It was normally towards the front of the stock, where Sanji always put it for-

No, he was not going to think about the shit-cook. That was the very reason why he was bunking with gun powder tonight.

"This would all be so much fucking easier if I had some booze in my system," Zoro growled.

"I doubt you could open the barrel even if you found it."

The air seemed thicker suddenly. Zoro tried to suppress the chill down his spine, but didn't succeed. Sanji was at the door behind him, watching, standing menacingly; Zoro already knew. He didn't have the guts to turn around. His stomach was in too many knots. Then, as he feared, the door closed, taking away the little light the hallway's lantern gave. The floor creaked lightly with each step the cook took towards him, and Zoro regretted not trying to take his swords from Chopper's desk, though he wouldn't have been able to lift them anyway.

The swordsman felt utterly sick with uneasiness. "What do you want?" he questioned steadily, refusing to make the smallest of movements. Hands in his pockets for now, Sanji chuckled, a sound that usually wasn't heard that often. At least, not by Zoro. Surprisingly, the short sound promised unspecified things. Things similar to conniving blackmail. Another confident step sent Zoro's guard spiraling up, and he reached for his hip, but found the lack of hilts nerve shattering. The cruel realization that he was defenseless, and temporarily weaken, in a small, trapped space with the cook, hit hard. He searched for any means of escape, like a window. But, yes, he forgot about the storage room being window-less. Zoro actually was helpless, after all, and reality was making it well-known.

"D-Don't come any closer," he stuttered. No, he wouldn't admit that, he wouldn't succumb to it. He could still do something; he'd be damned to just give up. If Sanji came near him, (as embarrassing as the outcome might be) Zoro could scream his lungs raw. Someone, anyone would help, if not the entire crew.

Again, Sanji couldn't stop the sadistic laugh. "What's wrong, marimo? Scared I'm gonna do something you don't want me to?" he questioned.

"You're a goddamn nympho..." Zoro trailed off, avoiding the other's intense look.

The cook smirked heavily. "Should I take that as a 'yes'?"

"Fuck off already," the first mate spat. He folded his arms across his chest like it was a form of protection. Basically, it was all he had.

"Ah ah ah," Sanji held up his index finger and waved it, "I don't think you're in the position to be telling me that." Zoro barely saw him move; the shit-cook was directly in front of his face, smiling insanely, and pushed him into the wall. It knocked the wind out of him, such a small push, and the swordsman wondered briefly if he could lie his way out of this. Sanji grabbed Zoro's face with his thumb and pointer finger, squeezing in his cheeks as he grinned widely, "I might need to teach you some manners," he huskily whispered.

Zoro felt his pride shatter when he uttered, "Don't think I won't scream, cook" and the bastard actually grinned wider, if possible. Sanji leaned in closer and the swordsman took the opportunity to head-bash him, but the force wasn't as strong as he had hoped for. Sanji blinked, the grin long gone. He frowned as Zoro hiss in pain at the searing headache he gained. Was that supposed to hurt? It was hardly a tap on the forehead! The mosshead was so powerless, it became endearing over time. The very thought of it, so enticing.

"I thought you loved women; think about what you're doing before you do it," Zoro reminded, trying yet again, in another way, to save himself.

"Oh, trust me, I do. My heart will never belong to anything else," Sanji clarified, flashing a devious smile.

The swordsman was completely puzzled. He loved women, but advanced on him? He couldn't ask him what the hell he meant, though. The cook had him pinned. "Ngh! W-the fuck are you doing?!" Zoro yelled, giving failed attempts at pushing the other away. Sanji had taken the liberty of quickly circling Zoro's waist with his arms, setting both hands on his ass, effectively confining him regardless of the struggles.

"Women are wonderful, beautiful creatures placed on the world to make life better. But when am I ever going to have the great mosshead swordsman at my mercy?" Sanji squeezed his ass bruisingly hard, "You won't scream, I know you won't. You don't want anyone to know about your 'little problem'. You're too egotistical. I have you practically in the_ palm of my hands_."

Despite the dumbass pun Zoro wanted to comment on, the grip didn't ease up. Instead, those damn fingers started _spreading_ his ass cheeks apart through his pants. Warm? Hot? No, burning; his ass was _burning _from the strong touch, and he couldn't move. Why? Sweat slowly dripped down his temple, whether from nervousness or temperature, he wasn't sure. Sanji's lips brushed against his own, the wall behind him preventing escape. Zoro turned his head away as far as he could, but the cook had already aimed to ravish his neck. The tongue sweeping across his Adam's apple almost made him gasp. Hot breath engulfed his entire ear and sent tremors throughout his body. Zoro no longer tried to flee; it was inevitable. But the next six hushed words caused his eyes to bulge, and amped his decision to fight all over again.

"_Besides, I __**want**__ to dominate you."_

Lack of lighting had Zoro at a disadvantage. He felt the hem of his pants be roughly tugged down, immediately exposing his black boxer briefs. Zoro paled slightly and reached to cover himself, but the cook gripped his wrists in warning. Sanji growled, low and lustful, forcing Zoro to slide down to the floor with widely spread legs. The swordsman soon realized thrashing didn't accomplish much other than making the hold on his arms tighter. "O-okay, you've humiliated me! You fucking _win,_ cook! That's what you wanted, right?! Right?!"

"What, don't tell me you're scared of losing your virginity, marimo," Sanji scoffed. This wasn't about humiliating Zoro anymore. He wanted all of him, he needed to know that he had something held above Zoro's head when he returned to his normal, brutish self. Sanji _needed _to do this.

"Dumb cook, I'm not a virgin. I just don't let sex control my life like you," the swordsman defended. Sanji was stunned to say the least. What poor, unfortunate soul mated with him? Then again, it was sort of unusual for someone their age to not have had intercourse. He shortly wondered when Zoro lost his, but now wasn't the time for reminiscing.

"Have you ever been fucked by a man?"

"Hell no!"

"Well, as far as your body's concerned, your ass is still a virgin. Now stop trying to stall."

Zoro's underwear tore at the seam, (it's not like he was made out of boxers) but the fear of what would happen overrode his annoyance. His soft cock twitched as it hung out in the open, cold air, being the main attraction of the cook's eyes. Damn pervert. "Wait-"

"No." Sanji crashed his lips into Zoro's, craving more of that sweet taste from earlier, and partly to keep the other quiet. After repeatedly pillaging every crease of Zoro's mouth, he pulled back for air, and shoved his long fingers under Zoro's vigorously wiggling tongue as a substitute. Saliva quickly formed on the three; Zoro's expression through it all was something the blonde would call beautiful. Hesitation, unintentional deep blush, fright, arousal, were in the crinkled features on his face. And they were all because of Sanji, for Sanji...

The chef swallowed the lump in his throat, and pulled out his fingers, mesmerized at the thin line of spit it created. _Why didn't Zoro bite me? _he frowned internally. Nevertheless, saliva wouldn't do the job. He searched his pants pocket for its contents, and revealed a medium-sized, half a bottle of lube. Still, it was fairly dark, so Zoro only heard the soft 'pop' of the cap opening.

"W-what're you...?" the swordsman muttered. His answer included a cold, slick finger slipping slyly between his ass cheeks. He jumped, instantly glaring into the darkness. Sanji grinned at this reaction, and probed further until his finger deftly slid inside his entrance. Zoro hissed; the cook had _very_ long fingers. He tensed, stopping the cook from moving in deeper.

"Oi, relax," Sanji commanded flatly.

"LIKE I'M JUST GONNA _LET_ YOU!" The cook predicted he would say that.

He sighed and shrugged, "Fine then, it'll hurt even more."

"'Even more'...? What do you-" Sanji took this moment of confusing for the swordsman to lightly rub the appendage against Zoro's walls, sure that he could feel every tiny shift. Zoro shivered, letting a throaty sigh of contentment brush past his parted lips. There was no pain, although Zoro didn't know that much about anal sex. He didn't know if the pain would come at all honestly; Sanji could've been bluffing just to spite him. The finger bent and curled until something extraordinary happened to the swordsman's body. A hot wave of pleasure pulsed down his spine for a split second, causing his back to arch involuntarily.

Sanji swallowed at the ecstatic moan that washed over him. He had to keep his libido in check for a little while longer. Another finger was inserted and this time Zoro attempted to run again. Yes, there was, in fact, pain now. With the scissoring, the stretching felt similar to being ripped apart. The cook didn't stop his movements either, pushing in until they could go no further.

Zoro's desperate expression was absolutely delicious. Sanji hardly held any remorse when he added the final slick digit. He teased the panting marimo's prostate multiple times before literally stabbing into it, drawing the loudest moan yet, along with a few torturous squirms. That was the last straw. Sanji couldn't be patient anymore. Zoro was too overwhelming.

Retrieving the bottle from his side, he squeezed the container enough for a small amount to pile in his palm, and coated his member idly. He heard a thick gulp from the swordsman, who apparently figured what the next step was. Zoro, once again, tried to scoot away and stand, but Sanji shot his hand out to firmly grasp his cock. "FUCK! L-let go!" Zoro panted heavily, flailing his body as hard as possible, which wasn't much help, "Don't touch!"

Sanji blinked, but a smirk of mischievous slowly grew. The marimo, sensitive? Who would have thought? His arousal stood proudly and dripping, revealing that Zoro was actually turned on by all of this, no matter how many complaints and protests he gave. A quick pump, and then another already had the first mate trembling. Stroking Zoro as a distraction, Sanji pressed the tip of his cock against his entrance before carefully forcing his way in. He didn't actually want to hurt Zoro. Not quite yet.

The cook was _definitely _longer than mere fingers. And thicker. The boiling hardness being quickly pushed into him caused immense sharp pain to focus into one spot, piercing his insides to the point of making him shout aloud. Sanji paused halfway, Zoro assumed, and groaned as he bit his bottom lip. "Bear with it for a little while longer," the blonde man breathed, not giving Zoro any time to respond or adjust. He flicked his hips until his cock disappeared at an acceptable pace as he held Zoro's waist steady, though it so desperately twitched in refusal.

Exactly how long was **it**? Zoro swore he could feel it constantly kneading his ribs, even though he knew better than that. But...it was _still_ pushing in, going deeper every second. Sanji wasn't taking his time with this given the fast friction his ass was subjected to, **it** was clearly just huge. The very thought embarrassed Zoro, since his own member was only about six inches. Sanji must have been watching his pained yet puzzled expression (if he even made one) and grinned smugly. "Stunned, marimo-kun?" he gloated, "It's never come to mind to measure it, but I'm positive it's about 8 1/2 inches, possibly nine if I'm hard." He angled slightly with one final snap of his pelvis, grinning madly when Zoro curled inwards.

There was still a great trace of pain, but that spot being struck effectively dulled it. Sanji spread Zoro's legs wider by pushing apart his thighs, and rocked into him hard. With every roll, Zoro saw pain-laced stars; magnificent yet unbearable. He wanted this to stop immediately, but he seriously considered murdering the cook if he did. He let his tongue dangle lazily from the side of his wanton, open mouth, feeling like he couldn't breathe. His lungs ached. He needed to get as much air as he could get.

"Hah...ahh...sto-p," Zoro's hands flung towards the cook's shoulder blades, failing to make the pleasant movements cease. Sanji pulled out almost completely before hesitating for suspense, and thrusting back into that tight heat with all his might.

"STO-_Khh...!_" Sanji started _back-breakingly _ramming himself into the swordsman, his hips becoming numb, determined to make the normally stoic, stubborn, thick-headed Zoro cry out in either pain or pleasure, regardless if the crew slumbered above them. Suddenly, his own pleasure caught up with him, since he was so obsessed with Zoro. He shivered and groaned.

Zoro felt something warm spill inside of him. He was relived when the cook finally stopped and let the death grip he had on his inner thighs loose, pulling out carelessly. Zoro's own cock was still erect; mixed with the dribbles of come dripping out of his ass, it felt oversensitive.

Sanji didn't say another word. That possibly could have been the best sex he'll ever have in his life; he was speechless. Zoro appeared to be unconscious from his angle, his hand impulsively stroking the swordsman's face lightly. Sanji didn't know what it was, the passion, the lust, some other unknown emotion; whatever was clutching his heart in a death grip **wanted **to make sure this happened again. The sea witch wouldn't come back until the week ended, right? Sanji grinned, but that didn't nearly seem like enough time. Hell, he was positive the rest of his life wouldn't be enough time.

:~:

Zoro yawned loudly, straining his muscles as he stretched outward. He expected to feel the warmth of his hammock, or Luffy's sprawled out arm next to him, but a cold, hard cannonball shook hands with him instead. "Wha...?" The swordsman felt a dull ache in his ass when he shifted. Zoro hissed, staring dead ahead at the sunlight coming under the storage door. "Oh," he remembered. Then pitched a glare hot enough to make the Merry catch fire if he gazed too long.

He threw on his pants that were so carelessly wrinkled, ignoring the fact that the hem of his underwear served no purpose anymore, and begrudgingly grabbed his boots. Storming out the room, he ran into the one person that wouldn't perfect his mood any further.

"Oi, Zoro, where were you? You were supposed to be on watch this morning! I had to take matters into my own hands...and make Chopper do it!" Nami scolded, poking the first mate in the chest. Zoro was a bit disoriented to fully pay attention to her, though he supposed this might be a good idea. Especially if he wanted to keep himself busy and hidden.

"Sorry," he muttered flatly.

"...Huh?"

"I'll keep watch for the day to make up for it. I won't leave my post."

The look on Nami's face would have been funny if he wasn't in such a bad mood. "I...G-good! Fine! And don't you, uh...dare do something dangerous," she said with the expression of a surprised deer. Who would have thought making Zoro stay in the crow's nest would be so easy? Not to mention _all day_. Nami nodded unsurely as she stepped inside the galley and closed the door behind her, the swordsman having no glimpse of the cook. Though, he did hear the daily call of "Nami-swaaan" seep through the threshold. He scowled. Damn cook, acting like his normal, lovesick self. Zoro had half a mind to march in there and burn him with his own stove. Slow footsteps could be heard coming towards the exit, no doubt they were dress shoes. Robin and Nami wore heels. Before Zoro knew what was happening, he had already ducked off behind a corner, feeling his heart beat at millions of miles per second.

"I thought someone was out here," Sanji shrugged, shutting the door firmly.

What...the hell did he just do? Did Roronoa Zoro actually _run_? From the shitty cook, no less! This was unacceptable. He was a man of pride; he ran from no one. He knew Wadou was tingling with anticipation in the infirmary, sharing his emotions and itching for a fight. But...Zoro couldn't give her one. At least, not now. "I'm not gonna be fucking pushed around," Zoro growled, "Not by a perverted idiot!"

Again, those same footsteps sent sweat down his brow, and his back involuntarily eased more into the wall.

"Hm."

"What is it, Cook-san?" Robin asked curiously.

"O-oh, nothing, Robin-chwan. I'm just...hearing things, I suppose." When the door closed once more, Zoro sighed and attempted to stop the vigorous shaking of his limbs.

Well, the crow's nest was waiting.


	3. Chapter 3

Me: Sorry if I'm taking a long time, I just want to make it really long for you guys. To Guest and anyone else, Sanji uses his hands, but not in ways that could potentially damage them, like fighting. And, seeing as Zoro has little strength (meaning that Zoro couldn't break out of the grip and otherwise cramp or strain Sanji's hands) it takes close to none effort to restrain him. Like a conscious rag doll. Other than that, he uses his hands daily.

Hiding Never Solves Every Problem

"Does Kenshi-san seem different to you this morning?" Robin questioned in interest, stirring her coffee lazily. Sanji stiffened by the counter, but continued to prepare a low optional breakfast for the crew. There was no possible way Robin could have known, unless she'd seen it herself, which he doubted immensely.

Nami frowned as the tangerine juice in her hand suddenly became obsolete, "What are you talking about?"

"I meant in a more fragile, antisocial type of way."

"Well, he _did _seem a bit...passive when I told him to take watch. Normally, I'd have to threaten to increase his debt."

Robin flashed a smug grin in her direction, not taking her highly amused eyes off of the coffee mug. "Threaten, or act?"

"Oi, I don't do it every single time! I'm not unreasonable. Besides, I know he'll probably never be able to pay me back until he's fifty. Money is money, no matter how long I must wait for it," the navigator waved dismissively. Robin hummed, glancing at the tense cook, who was creating a large container of sweet rice milk. She watched his years of practiced movements transform from fluent to rigid once the topic of Zoro emerged. "How do you fair in this, Cook-san?" the archaeologist asked, "Did you two get into another fight?"

Sanji thoughtfully chewed on his tongue since cigarettes were running low. "Of...sorts."

"Care to elaborate?"

"It's nothing, really. The moron's brute strength just caught me off guard and he made me hurt my back. He's probably angry because I acted like a true gentleman and politely walked away without ruffling his feathers," the cook started gathering plates for the table, "He'll get over it."

The older woman smiled gingerly, "I heard about that little occurrence."

Sanji froze for a split second, a second Robin positively noticed. He resumed dividing up the silverware as he cleared his throat forcibly, trying to sound casual. Robin would know something strange happened, and then thoroughly investigate it. "Beg pardon?"

"Yes, Sencho-san seemed distraught over something, so I asked what was troubling him. He said Kenshi-san was terribly stubborn when you left, more so than usual. I suppose he didn't feel the need to apologize-" Sanji scoffed inwardly at the very thought, "-because he felt he was in the right. Maybe the rivalry between you two is over," Robin grinned cocky as she tapped her coffee cup lightly, "and Kenshi-san has finally won?"

A fork was the cause of a loud thud, crashing against the wooden counter with incredible force; its semi-sharp edges embedded deep within the surface. Nami couldn't believe that Sanji would disrespect a utensil like that, or loose his composure in front of either her or Robin. Just as quickly as it was planted, the fork was yanked out and tossed into the sink to be washed later. The cook searched for a fresh, untainted one in the drawer.

Nami's jaw hung open in disbelief. "What did you do?" she whispered.

"Oh my, it appears I've made things complicated." With that said, Robin returned to her previous main objective; waking up with the help of her dark caffeine.

The nerve of that shitty marimo, daring to think he was better just because he got in a lucky shot! _I'll make sure he'll never think that again. When he gets his strength back, he'll __**never**__ forget that I will __**always**__ be above him._ Sanji highly doubted that Zoro would kill him when the week was done. Zoro wasn't one to get revenge, unless namaka were either killed or severely injured. The worst that could happen would probably be never talking to the swordsman ever again, which he was completely fine with. Zoro could go jump in a volcano for all Sanji cared. But there _was _the small possibility of the swordsman telling Luffy, though the odds of it were slim, on account of this situation still being unwanted business.

"You can begin eating if you like, my swans~!" Sanji twirled gracefully towards the porthole, where he stuck out his head and scowled, "BREAKFAST IS READY, YOU MONGRELS!"

Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper wasted no time in bargaining inside the small room, shoving one another aside to get the spot by the window. Sanji shouted at them for being ridiculous as they continuously bumped each other off of the bench.

"IT'S MY TURN!" the reindeer squeaked.

"NO, LUFFY HAD IT YESTERDAY; IT'S MINE!"

"OI, THE CAPTAIN GETS TO CHOOSE!"

Usopp and Chopper smacked him simultaneously, "THAT'S UNFAIR!"

Sighing as he placed the remaining plates on the table, Sanji swung out his leg aimlessly, letting his foot collide with the three boys' heads at the same time. They groaned with lumps the size of beach balls slowly growing out of their hair, or in poor Luffy's case, two gigantic ones. Sucking in a rather deep breath, the cook yelled into their ears carelessly, "_My kitchen, my rules_," and forced them to the farthest wall. Luffy whined, as usual, and the sharpshooter had his arms crossed tightly as he and Chopper glared heatedly at each other.

Only five heads were accounted for. Well, of course Zoro wouldn't want to show up, but Sanji wasn't about to give him a damn choice. No one missed a meal on this ship; not while he was alive and well. He suddenly grinned maliciously. Then again, Zoro's ass might be too sore to move. Something tapped his out-pointed elbow, and the swordsman's ass became temporarily irrelevant. "Yes, my swan?"

"Sanji-kun, I can't enjoy the food if you stare that creepily into space," Nami said, bringing her spoon to her lips.

"My apologizes~! I'll leave you all in..." he noticed how lavishly Usopp was fighting off the meat-craving captain, who had a large clump of rice (that was three sizes too big) stuffed into his mouth, "...somewhat peace."

:~:

Zoro shivered under the light blue blanket, feeling wind seep beneath an open corner. The sea was completely empty as far as other vessels went. Merry sailed across the sun's constantly wavering reflection, but other than that the waters were calm. It was almost refreshing. Zoro still tried to get his breath in control; climbing the rigging had been one hell of a workout. Not counting all the times his arms and legs gave out on him.

Speaking of the rigging, the rope hooked to the side of the crow's nest began tightening, signaling that someone was coming up. Though, Zoro couldn't be sure who, since everyone was eating...breakfast. He forgot all about it. Stomach complaints were certain to erupt now, but that was beside the point. "I don't have anything to say to you, so you might as well just fucking leave," Zoro snarled.

As he expected, a tray with a silver dome covering it appeared first, balancing on the blonde man's head. Those curly eyebrows and smug blue orbs quickly followed, along with, what Zoro did _not _expect to be, a familiar scowl. "First of all, no one misses a single goddamn meal on this ship." Sanji climbed in and set the plate down before crouching down stiffly, grabbing Zoro's shocked laced faced by the cheeks, poking out his lips. "Second, I heard you obviously need help with your attitude."

"Whut ure yu ooin?!" The swordsman couldn't move his head, so he settled for glaring.

"Testing the size ratio of your mouth for later."

"Uck yu, sun oof a beach."

Sanji sighed like an extremely disappointed parent, "There's that attitude again. Alright."

Zoro unleashed a very unmanly squeal when something grasped his crotch underneath the blanket, his hands immediately flying there to yank it away. But Sanji had no intentions of that. The swordsman gave a breathy sigh as heat began to build up in his stomach. He tried to move, but only found that familiar feeling of being trapped yet again. "Don't take your eyes off of me. Apologize," the cook demanded after feeling Zoro's neck muscles tense.

"Fur whut?!"

Sanji shrugged, grinning dubiously, "It's just a little training exercise to readjust your manners. Maybe after I'm done, you'll actually start complimenting my food."

"Upid shitty food," he muttered. The blonde man pressed his palm in harder, smirking since he felt that Zoro hadn't bothered to change into a proper pair underwear. His fingers lightly played up the cross stitching, and he swiftly unbuttoned the pants once he reached the top. He still had Zoro's head faced in the other direction, making sure he couldn't see what was happening. The marimo panicked, "Cook...?!"

Sanji smiled a little too innocently as the rubbing became beyond insistent, "Apologize."

Zoro made a borderline desperate expression, "Ngh...N-no!"

The cook slipped his hand in and let it curl through coarse, green hairs as slow as a falling snowflake. Zoro gasped at the weird but ticklish sensation it created, fear pumping hurriedly in his chest. Sanji wouldn't dare; in broad daylight, where everyone and anyone could climb up at any moment? A short-lived choked sound suddenly voiced itself when his member was wrapped in warmth, and squeezed lightly. Zoro felt his face boil in embarrassment as Sanji's movements stopped all together. His fingers flexed under the blanket nervously, balling and unballing themselves without his consent.

It happened so fast; Zoro couldn't take the pleasurable roughness. Sanji started again with no hesitation or concern, stroking him hard like their lives depended on it. Zoro's back arched against his sheer willpower and a quiet moan soon joined it.

"_Apologize_," the cook growled, loosing his grip by each passing second. The swordsman didn't want this, but he didn't necessarily want it to end either. It was extremely complicated to process. Swallowing his rather large pride, (or at least what was left of it) he spoke as best as he could with crushed lips. "'M surry...?"

Sanji scowled, "I didn't ask for a damn question. Repeat after me, 'I'm sorry, Master Sanji.'"

"DIE!" he roared.

Zoro regretted such an impulsive outburst immediately; the contact between them was almost distant. "Mind your manners, moss-for-brains. Now, apologize the _right _way." Off of Zoro's lap the blanket went, onto the floor and forgotten, leaving Zoro's trembling fingers to curl into his palm instead. The swordsman's arousal stood stiff against his own stomach for all to see except himself; Sanji's hand holding his face captive as steady as the cook's undying confidence. "I could keep you here for hours, you know," the blonde claimed, "since no one ever questions what I do throughout the day. So I suggest you do what I tell you to and behave." Zoro let his eyes fall shut as he waited for something, anything to happen. Sanji's heavy breath ghosted over his chest for a second, and then abruptly travelled lower. _What is he...?_

"_Ahh_, no! Get oof uhf me, yu shitty-brow!" Zoro grabbed the blonde's hair as Sanji licked the base of his cock mercilessly with a ridiculously hot tongue, grinning like a savage madman. He wanted to come. He _needed _to come, but the other made sure to prevent it. The hand on his face finally fell; however, Zoro didn't have the guts to look anyway. The swordsman couldn't control his facial contortions the harder Sanji sucked, no matter how much he tried to resist. His jaw hung open in desire as he panted.

Sanji pulled away and glanced up, his gaze brimming with satisfaction. "You look like you wanna say something, marimo," the cook cooed, "Maybe if you said it, I would let you come. But...that's not necessarily a promise."

Zoro frowned mildly behind a flaring blush. He had half a mind to finish the damn job himself, but even attempting would land him something worse...or better. It was _really _complicated; this constant battle of mind over body. Besides, he sucked up his pride once, he could overcome the humiliation once more.

Zoro made sure to filter his thoughts before he spoke, checking himself before a smartass response reared itself. "I'm sorry, Sanji," he said flatly.

"Aw, you can do better than that, _can't you_?" Sanji chuckled, admiring the way his name sounded coming from the swordsman's normally insult-filled mouth. Though still pissed at Zoro for not fully cooperating, (not that he expected any less) he was more interested in the shaking fingers embedded in his blonde locks. Smirking nonchalantly, Sanji leaned down ever so slowly as a test, and those fingers trembled harder, but Zoro stayed quiet. _Hm, interesting_, he hummed inwardly. "I know what you want, Zoro," he stated, lifting the other's chin roughly, "You want me to suck you dry till you scream. You want me to treat you like the inner slut you are."

Zoro's blush deepened; he never thought he could love and hate that sultry, seductive voice at the same time. "But you have to _apologize _correctly for me."

The first mate chose to keep his vision black through this all. Damn, he really had no choice but to play along.

"I'm sorry...Master Sanji."

Sanji grinned, "Good boy."

Usopp's eyes widened as he stared cautiously up at the crow's nest, holding his previously forgotten toolbox close to his chest.

What the fuck had he just heard?


	4. Chapter 4

Little White Lies and Inaudible Cries

Once back in the galley, Usopp appeared to be as white as a bleached sheet. Hardly anyone noticed; they had more important things to worry about, like shielding their food. He idly took his seat next to Chopper, who had taken up a conversation with Robin about herbs, and pushed his food far away. The sharpshooter was too utterly confused to eat anymore. Nothing made sense. Albeit, it probably wasn't his business to intrude or even think about the subject, but this was...concerning. Usopp wondered what happened before he showed up at "Master Sanji".

"Usopp?" the reindeer frowned, "what's the matter? You haven't touched your rice milk...and you _love_ rice milk!"

"I'm just not feeling that hungry. I lost my appetite."

"That's okay; I'll get it back for you," Luffy announced, quickly stretching his arm over to the marksman's plate. Nami slammed a wooden spoon over his hand and scowled. She motioned for Usopp to get on with the reason for his lack of hunger, but he shook his head nervously. Blurting something out that he didn't know the entire story to wouldn't be helpful. But then again, was there even a story to this? Robin smiled at him; oddly it was reassuring yet bone-chilling. Nevertheless, she didn't bother to speak.

Usopp sighed deeply, "I...is...does something seem off to you guys about Sanji-kun and Zoro lately? You know, since the witch came?"

"Beside the fact that Zoro's not as much as an asshole now, and Sanji-kun's got some new anger problems, no," Nami shrugged.

"Think about it; what _did _the witch take? Does any of us actually know?"

Silence emitted from the table, aside from Luffy's vigorous chewing. Chopper remembered the sadness Zoro was giving off yesterday in the infirmary. He didn't seem to be in pain, though. "I gave him a check up and nothing came up broken or infected," Chopper confirmed.

"Perhaps it is something in a more spiritual or emotional sense," Robin thought aloud. Luffy swallowed the large mass of starch and wiped his mouth with the back of his (throbbing) red hand. He stared blankly at the older woman as he asked what she had meant. "For instance, maybe Queen Azami took away his ability to be happy. Or his ability to care. There are various possibilities. How could we ever figure out what is troubling him?"

"We'll just have to try everything," the captain stated seriously, tipping the rim of his hat over his face. He always did look menacing when he did that, Usopp thought, even if he did still have bits of food on his face.

:~:

Nami saw Zoro sulking down the hallway, heading for the bathroom. Since the swordsman took on the responsibility of watch for the whole day, his potty break would be the best time for their convoluted plan to proceed. The navigator sighed; sometimes she envied how Luffy's brain worked, and the other times, well, she wished she could fix it.

"Ne, Zoro," she called cheerfully, stopping him in his tracks. Zoro looked over his shoulder cautiously; when Nami sounded happy, it never benefitted him in the slightest, or anyone. He grunted flatly in acknowledgment. "I've got terrific news for you!"

Zoro blinked. "_For_ me? Not _concerning_ me or financially _draining_ me?"

She flashed a big smile (though her annoyance peaked at that question), "Of course not, silly! In fact, you'll be happy to know that I've decided to let you off the hook about the debt. Consider it water under the bridge."

_"We'll need something happy," Luffy said, scratching his chin in thought, "Something that'll make even Zoro jump up and down."_

_Chopper frowned; nothing really excited the swordsman, and everyone knew this. Perhaps it was because he didn't have many tiny problems in his life. "Would a flu shot make him happy...?" he asked doubtfully. Usopp shook his head. Receiving a huge needle through your skin positively wasn't enjoyable._

_Robin tapped Nami's shoulder lightly, "I know of a way to tickle him pink."_

_"Hm?"_

_"His debt to you is rather...large, correct?"_

_Nami stared into space as realization soon hit her. That's what Robin was suggesting...? "No way! I'm not dropping the debt just to figure out what the damn idiot's problem is! It's __**MY **__money, and I don't get hassled for anything."_

_"I'll pay you back," Usopp announced suddenly with his hand raised for attention._

_"You'd pay 300,000 berries for a plan that might not work?" Chopper gasped. Then his eyes sparkled brightly, "AWESOME!"_

Zoro's eyes widened, and he cracked a toothy smile. Questions rose to the surface of his mind, but asking them would surely ruin this moment. No catch, no threats, no replacements? He was simply estatic. However, while he was celebrating by himself, Nami watched in disappointment. Well, she still got her money eventually either way, but it seems Zoro could still be happy.

"Thanks, Nami. I don't know what made you change your mind, but I'm glad it happened," Zoro grinned. As he turned back toward the bathroom and opened the door, Nami placed her hand on the piece of wood. Surprisingly, it seemed like Zoro tried to close it fully, but couldn't for some odd reason. She didn't dwell on it. "Actually..."

_"We've got happy covered, but now we need something sad. Zoro holds in his emotions really well," Usopp stated. The archaeologist chuckled darkly as she refreshed her coffee by the counter. Luffy looked up at her, "What's so funny?"_

_"Well, I was just thinking," she giggled, "that maybe Nagahana-kun wouldn't have to pay the debt after all, and how sad Kenshi-san would be if Navigator-san suddenly took it all back."_

"...I need the money, so forget everything I just said. No hard feelings, right?" Nami smirked, throwing her hands up in a shrug. Zoro observed the wickedness practically glowing off of her with a sullen expression. He should have known, really. This _was_ the devil temptress that conned big businesses daily. How could he even believe something that was too utterly fantastic to be true? With a sigh and a mutter of "bitch," he patiently waited for Nami to remove her hand, which she did timidly. Weird, normally she would have had to whip it back as fast as lightning if she didn't want broken fingers...

Luffy strolled into the hallway casually, holding two broken katanas, split in half vertically. They needed something that would infuriate Zoro, but not something that would crush him for life, like purposely breaking Wadou. Shusui and Sandai Kitetsu were as valuable as a trusted weapon could be, but they were not Zoro's treasure. "Are you sure this is gonna work?" Nami whispered as she tugged on the captain's stretchy ear, leading him out of the hallway.

"Yep," was his only logical response.

After a few pretentious minutes, the running water shut itself off and Zoro walked out onto the deck. The first thing he realized was how much sunnier it got in the last twenty minutes. The second had to be Luffy, who put on the most sheepish, sorrowful expression he could muster; the look he normally gave when roughhousing hurt someone accidentally. The swordsman scratched behind his ear as he stared expectantly at the captain, waiting for him to say what he wanted. It wasn't until the unfamiliar lack of weight on his left hip, and the two demolished katana in Luffy's hands pieced together in his mind that his eye lids practically soared into the sky.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" he bellowed angrily.

"Ne, I'm sorry, Zoro! They were just lying around-me and Usopp were playing Tag and I stepped on them, and they snapped!"

Zoro clenched his fists tightly, his face was flushed in anger, and his breath hitched noticeably. He needed to punch, to kick, to _bite_ something, though he wouldn't dare hit the captain, and Nami was also out of the question. Not only did she have nothing to do with this, but he physically couldn't without revealing his "problem". Not to mention Sanji would...

Sanji...

He shivered suddenly, all anger dissipating. He didn't even want to think back to this morning, or last night, or the cook in general. His stern words still rung in his head. _**I better not catch you ditching a meal again. I may not go easy on you next time, Marimo.**_

"It's...it's fine, Luffy," he stated, taking a deep breath. Sure, he'll need new ones, which means his debt will grow, and he broke his promise to the old man about caring for Shusui, but he supposed anger wasn't the way to go about this anyway. Zoro just hoped Luffy wouldn't try to hand them to him; he'd drop them, and probably fall as well. Then something seemed off. If she growled when in blood lust, begged when a fight broke out, shook just before she pierced skin-

"Kitetsu isn't screaming," Zoro claimed softly, "Those aren't my katana."

"Huh?" Even Nami appeared to be extremely surprised.

_"We need something cute, too," the captain announced, pointing a finger in the air. Everyone blinked at the pointless idea, since Zoro didn't necessarily think anything was cute. _

_"Why?" Nami frowned._

_"Ne, if something's cute, you feel an emotion, right? We need to see if he lost that emotion!"_

_This was simply useless, Usopp thought. What could possibly exceed the swordsman's perspective of that? Certainly nothing on the Going Merry, as far as they knew. Robin hummed lowly, an idea springing to life. "Kenshi-san is rather fond of the doctor, yes?" she questioned._

_"Me? Why me?" Chopper asked with a trace of confusion._

_Robin giggled, "It's clear that he thinks of you as a little brother. We could use you in some way. But what?"_

While Zoro was busy inspecting (without touching) the mysterious swords that suddenly showed up, tiny hooves trampled along the deck towards the three of them. As soon as Zoro took his eyes off the weapons, Chopper was in his line of sight. And what a sight it was. The young doctor wore a green striped cloth around his small waist, his usual dark red pants were replaced with a pair of black slacks, and he was actually wearing a shirt; a white one with three buttons at the top, no less. His hat was absent on his head; his large antlers stood naked. A square of dark green cloth was tied around the doctor's upper arm as well. Chopper's nose twitched as he smiled up at the expressionless swordsman, who was too much of a man to admit he was melting in the inside.

Nami snickered at the sound of Zoro swallowing nervously. She had to give praise to Robin for her stitch work.

"...What are you wearing?" He couldn't stop the dumb question before it left his mouth. The more important question is "why".

"'Cause I thought it would be cool to dress like the greatest swordsman in the world," Chopper grinned wider, making his eyes sparkle like Usopp suggested.

Nami clapped her hands together, "AW~! Don't you think it's cute, Zoro?"

"C...cute? I-I suppose, I mean, if that's what he was going for," Zoro shrugged. On the inside, he was smiling so hard, not even Mihawk slicing through him again could ruin it.

_"What if he just doesn't care?" Nami asked, thoroughly examining her fingernails. "I mean, it's a possibility."_

_"Well, then I guess we'll need to figure out if he still __**can **__care, too," Luffy declared._

Something came hurdling out of the ship at full speed, flailing and yelling incoherent words. Further inspection revealed that it was Usopp running rampant like a damn manic with something hanging from his nose. He ran up to Zoro with tears in his eyes (even _further_ inspection revealed that it was just a closepin on his nose) and he dropped to his knees limply. "ZOROOO! HELP MEEEE!"

Zoro scoffed lightly, "No."

Usopp blinked. Was the care plan a success, or was Zoro just being a jerk? "Aren't you gonna help?"

"No, m'not."

"Please?"

"No."

"...Really?"

"Yeah." Zoro wasn't being mean on purpose, he just doubted he could pry it off at the moment.

The sharpshooter pursed his lips as his eyes narrowed slightly. He stood up and brushed himself off at the knees, clearing his throat as he yanked the closepin off of his nose with a loud snap. Usopp glanced down at Chopper (God knows he'll feel awful about this) and quickly nudged him with his foot between the Merry's safety rails, knocking the reindeer off-balance. Chopper squeaked before he fell, splashing into the water and sinking like a bland block of cinder.

Zoro's jaw dropped in horror. What the fuck was he thinking?! "Ch-Chopper! Usopp, you jackass! SAVE HIM!"

"Oh, no. Chopper has fallen overboard. Whoever shall save him?" Usopp said tonelessly. Zoro growled as low and menacing as he could in Usopp's direction. The longer they stood there, the further Chopper would sink. They needed to hurry.

"Usopp, GO! Now!" he shouted heatedly.

"Stop wasting time," Nami scolded.

"I'll get him," Luffy declared, heroically plunging in the water before the navigator had the chance to remind him of his stupidity.

"Zoro, quit fooling around and save him like you normally do-"

"I CAN'T, ALRIGHT?! I...I..." Zoro sighed as his hand shakily found its way to his marimo-like hair in a desperate attempt to resolve the current life-threatening situation. His chest heaved, almost as if a panic attack was liable to happen at any minute. It wasn't like him to lose his cool while a serious problem in progress needed leadership, or at least command. "Bandages...Usopp, you have to save them! I'm not fully healed; my bandages would be ruined!"

Shocked that Zoro would let somethings so feeble as bandages stop him, Usopp had no choice but to jump overboard. Nami placed a worried hand on the first mate's shoulder, who immediately looked at her. Concern was obvious on her features, along with disbelief. Zoro didn't even know where to start. "Maybe you should go lie down. I can make Usopp take watch," she said softly. Nodding, Zoro stalked back inside the ship, towards the men's quarters below deck. His hammock sounded pretty comfortable right about now.

Robin emerged from behind the mikan grove with her arms delicately crossed, and a long stream of arms threw Chopper and Luffy back onto the Merry, perfectly dry. Usopp, however, was soaking wet as he used the built-in ladder on the ship to climb back up. He tried not to let it show how pissed he was, but it was rather hard when you had water in your lungs.

"It would seem that our plan didn't work," the archaeologist sighed, dropping the two Devil Fruit users less than gracefully.

"Yeah, maybe he just doesn't want to agitate the wounds by doing too much. That would explain him wanting to be on watch all day," Nami clarified.

"Zoro doesn't have any; he's been perfectly healthy since Alabasta, "Chopper frowned in puzzlement.

Nami folded her arms under her breasts, "Then why is he wearing bandages?"

"What bandages...?"

:~:

Zoro awoke to the sound of numerous feet trampling the poor floorboards of the Merry, and the various shouts of something similar to "the window" and "mine". The porthole beside his head indicated that it was almost sunset, meaning lunch would be served soon. Zoro dreaded how he would act in front of everyone, especially since he sat directly across from the cook. More importantly, he could barely get the bathroom door open without Nami's help earlier, and breakfast was a hassle since he had to keep forcing his arm muscle to bend and move in order to eat. He wondered briefly if anyone would even notice his struggles at the table.

As the call of lunch resounded around the ship, Zoro wasted no time in (carefully hopping out of bed. His stomach was roaring to be fed, but also in tight knots. He eyed the doorknob wearily before clutching it, jerking his arm back for it to open. The door didn't seem to coöperate. With a deep intake of breath, Zoro eventually got it to crack slightly, and he used that advantage to shimmy his foot through, along with the rest of his body. To hell with closing it.

Zoro didn't need to worry about the galley door, seeing as it was always open when the crew ate. Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp were viciously devouring their meals as the girls chatted about something Zoro didn't want to know. Sanji watched him enter and sit down from the sink as he washed his hands then dried them. Zoro knew he was being watched, and, frankly, he was doing his best not to scowl at the bastard.

He must have spaced out. Before he could blink, Sanji was standing right next to him, placing his plate down on the table. Zoro couldn't hide the flinch he made from the sudden closeness, and just settled on avoiding the cook's face and other possible criticism. Luckily, no one else caught the rigid movement.

"Oh, my. I hadn't realized my tea had gotten so cold. Cook-san, may I have more?" Robin asked lightly as Nami talked on.

Sanji smiled as he took his seat beside Chopper, "Of course, my lovely swan, but my feet are killing me. I'm sure Zoro would love to get you a refill. Wouldn't you, Marimo?"

It felt as if Zoro had been punched in the guts once those words registered. Nami and Robin were looking at him in surprise, and he reluctantly put his spoon down. Zoro wanted to unleash the raging fires of Hell deep inside him, but he only let out a harsh breath. "Yeah. Sure. I, uh, need the extra exercise anyway," he lied.

_But what about your so called wounds?_ Nami thought internally. She tried not to show how unimpressed she was, but it proved to be difficult considering the stinging betrayal that Zoro actually lied to them. The swordsman stood and strolled over to the stove, where the still hot, tea-filled coffee pot sat. He stared at it like it wasn't what it seemed, like a parasite had sprouted out of the handle. It was almost entirely full; no way he'd be able to pick it up. Zoro felt the light steam mocking him as he reached hesitantly for the handle, and drew back after a moment's thought.

"...I-I just remembered my...fingers are still sprained. Do it yourself, sh-Uh, cook," Zoro stammered, crossing his arms irritably. Sanji flashed a quick smirk at him, "You're already right there, mosshead. Just pick it up."

"They're your "lovely ladies;" you do it."

"Zoro, could you just get it over with?" Nami interjected impatiently.

Robin clicked her tongue, "Yes, I'd like my tea now."

They were beginning to get suspicious; well, at least Robin was. He couldn't keep bantering with Sanji like this. Eyes closed involuntarily, the swordsman forced himself not to grind his teeth in annoyance and shame. His fiery gaze landed on the smugly grinning blonde man with his legs crossed. "Coo-" Sanji gave him a disapproving glare, which made him swallow the occupational nickname instantly. "Sanji, could you do it yourself...? Please?"

Forks, spoons, and silverware in general dropped once those foreign words left his mouth. Zoro's cheeks flared at the over-dramatic scene, along with the seductive wink he received from the blonde. Sanji stood as if nothing was amiss, as if the ferocious chewing that normally occurred hadn't ceased, and gave Robin her tea with a dazzling smile. Zoro sat back down and forced himself to eat, ignoring the odd burn in his stomach. From what, he had no clue, but he wasn't sure if he hated it or not.

Dinner basically ended the same way. The humiliation of some simple task being asked of Zoro, (in this case, opening the wine bottle) though he had to turn it down obviously and _politely_ request, no, _beg_ the cook to do it instead. All for the sake of keeping his inability to lift things a secret. The burning in his stomach grew when Sanji reached over his arm and slightly brushed his suit sleeve against his bare skin on purpose, increasing in intensity. But that wasn't what was concerning him at the moment.

Zoro stood in the corridor, torn between sleeping in the storage room or in the men's quarters. He thought he'd be emotionally stressed if he were in the same room as the cook, but with the others around, it was more likely he could sleep without worry. What if Sanji was..._expecting _him to go into the storage room? Zoro grinned despite the serious situation; he wished he could see his shocked face later, but he wasn't going to risk it.

Men's quarters it was, then.


	5. Chapter 5

Me: I'm so sorry you guys had to wait so long! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far, and I promise the next one will be longer. Again, I'm sorry! GOOMEEEEN!

An Empty Ship Means No One Can Hear You...And That's Okay? **Part 1**

The swordsman wasn't even remotely tired for once in his life. Oh, no; far from it. Nami said something about the Merry sailing through a coldspot (similar to a hotspot) at night on the way to the next island. Zoro just wasn't expecting to freeze to death. Everyone had prepared ahead of time, equipping four thick blankets for each person. Zoro had figured his high body temperature would actually serve its purpose, so he only kept one blanket. It didn't take long for him to regret this decision, but by the time he came to his senses, all the covers were already taken.

His eyes stung and watered as he stared at the ceiling for too long, shivering, and Luffy's dangling arm in eyeshot. He sighed quietly; Sanji was right next to him, snoring softly as he slept sheltered by various warm layers. A part of Zoro wanted to wake him up just so he wouldn't be alone. Another part wanted to sleep next to him. The last remaining part wanted to be as far away from the manipulative bastard as possible. He didn't know which side he should listen to, though.

Zoro was never good dealing with mixed emotions. Of course, he knew important facts like, yes, he was attracted to Sanji. Yes, he liked Sanji. _Yes_, he kind of enjoyed the sex. _No_, he did not like the constant humiliation. _No_, he did not think that basically torturing him with seductive words and actions was the way to go about his problem. _Yes_, he still liked the cook despite the shitty things he did to him. But he didn't understand why. So, what exactly did this mean? Was he insane for thinking this way? Or...had he already given into the fact that he was putty in his hands for the time being?

Usopp mumbled so loudly in his sleep to the point of Zoro wanting to throttle him, or himself. The sharpshooter must have really missed Kaya if he's having such surreal dreams about her. Eventually, he sat up straight, lightly swaying the hammock in the process. He buried his face in the palm of his hands and trembled, noticing how icy chips formed on the porthole across from him. It was only _a little _foggy a few seconds ago. Zoro gently rubbed the goose bumps along his arms. Maybe having his abnormal strength torn from his body affected his core temperature, too? If that were the case, Zoro would definitely need more heat. If not, he'd be dead by morning. Luffy was too much of a wild sleeper to even consider getting close to, Usopp's feet smelled atrocious, and Chopper was too small; his heated fur alone wouldn't work. That obviously left...

Fuck.

Well, maybe dying slowly from the cold wouldn't be so bad.

A huge, breezy gust of wind told him otherwise.

"Seriously, the window's closed. Where the hell did that come from?" Zoro muttered aloud.

He carefully hopped down onto the icy floor barefooted, and stared at the cook's back, debating on whether this was a good idea. Two things were likely to happen. One: Sanji would kick him across the room, or two: he'd stay in Dream Land while Zoro eased in next to him. Though, getting kicked as soon as morning came wouldn't be the greatest wake up call Zoro preferred. Besides, the familiar burn in his stomach egged him on to tap Sanji's shoulder, for what reason, he could only guess. The cook groaned at the touch, shifting onto his other side, setting his sleepy gaze on the swordsman. Zoro could tell he was out of it; it would take more than a few jabs to wake him, but he felt a tad intimidated.

"Zoro...?" Sanji sounded confused, but the lazy grin on his lips unnerved the first mate, "Ma~ri~mo!"

"Shh, idiot cook! It's cold," he said gruffly, "and I don't have enough coverage."

"Hm, sounds rough."

Zoro huffed through clenched teeth, "Can I bunk with you for the night...?"

"I dunno. Never pictured you as a cuddler," Sanji smirked. Zoro climbed in regardless without permission, and Sanji more than happily scooted over as he lifted the blanket open for him. The hammock was only made for one person, meaning they were...unbelievably snug. Zoro had his back towards the cook stubbornly, refusing to look at that stupid grin. He felt a slim arm snake around his waist, which he expected sooner or later, but the gentle chin resting on his head was something new. Sanji's breath swayed his strands of hair and warmed his skull as he hummed contentedly. Zoro wondered why the bastard cook was acting so...affectionate when on other occasions he'd be trying to stick his hand down Zoro's pants. Whatever the reason was, Zoro had to admit he liked it, though the confusion never strayed. His body had stopped shaking long ago, and now he just relished in the scent of fruit, spices, and cherry shampoo (Sanji's unique smell) as he slept. Had he really given in so willingly so fast? Nevertheless, Zoro found his own arm resting on top of the other's after he was sure Sanji was asleep again.

:~:

"...ould be dangerous! Do you know what they would both do to us?! My I-Can't-Get-Pummeled-By-Hotheaded-Cooks-and-Swordsmen disease is acting up," a voice whispered.

"Ne, but it's really funny! Usually they're at each other's throats," another shot in.

Zoro shifted an inch, immediately finding that he couldn't move as much as he wanted to. Something was squeezing him tight. His eyes sprung open hastily and saw nothing but the chest of a surprisingly soft light blue shirt. A hand held on protectively to the hip he lied on, and another cradled his head downwards so Zoro's nose and forehead was intimately buried in the cook's clothes, and to his shock, he was clutching onto Sanji's shirt firmly like it gave him security. He noticed the room had brightened; it was morning already? The cook seemingly stayed asleep.

Luffy and Usopp were hovering above them, one grinning stupidly and the other biting his fingernails nervously. Once Zoro's eyes flashed a threatening glare, Usopp ran for the hills, scared shitless as usual. Luffy, however, smiled genuinely. Almost as if he knew...which was incredibly strange to Zoro considering he never caught on that quickly with things. "I was gonna wake Sanji up...but I won't ruin your _fun_," the captain murmured smugly.

It was then that Zoro accidentally flipped the entire hammock over trying to escape inevitable embarrassment.

Sanji landed on top of him with a gasp, and soon after, a wide scowl. Zoro almost yelled at the cook's dead weight crushing his internal organs. He spluttered for a second before Sanji quickly lifted himself up and pulled at his ears painfully as punishment. "What the hell, mosshead?!"

"Ow! Leggo of me!" Zoro knew the light blush that spread across his face wouldn't have faded away so quickly; he hoped to high heavens that Sanji didn't say anything about it. Luffy laughed wildly, claiming that he loved how funny they were acting, and left the room in search of Usopp. Sanji stared down at Zoro from his place on the swordsman's lap, registering the situation, and smirked with amusement. Lightly tracing Zoro's collar bone, he felt the impending need to ask, "Did you sleep well, Marimo?"

"...It was fine," he huffed, looking everywhere else but at the blonde.

Sanji chuckled, "Good, 'cause I've got a surprise for you today. Something that I'm sure you'll get a kick out of."

"Is it you freeing your knee's grip on my kidney?"

"No, but that's a good guess," the cook said sarcastically, "I'll show you after I've restocked. We'll be alone for the whole evening, since Robin-chan told Nami-san about the long lost treasure this island is known for. I'd say your manners are somewhat improving, yeah?" Zoro didn't respond to that. He barely made any indication that he had even heard him. The cook took that as a positive sign his plan reflected; making the bull-headed first mate practically speechless and hesitant. His hopes were that these so-called "lessons" he taught wouldn't disappear when the sea witch returned. Until then, Zoro was at his mercy, and Sanji planned to enjoy it as much as he could. He gingerly stood, wrapping an arm around Zoro's torso to help him stand as well, which, of course, the other fussed about. Albeit, he _did_ in fact need the extra hand.

Zoro scratched the faded cold hives on his arms timidly. He was almost afraid to ask; almost. "Can I ask if it's something I'm-"

"Ah ah, _I _ask the questions; you answer them like a good ball of algae. And I'm not telling you anything just for suspense. But...I know you'll enjoy it," Sanji beamed naughtily as his fingers danced on Zoro's frowning lips. "I sure as hell will." With that, he left for the bathroom to shower and change before starting on breakfast, purposely ignoring the fact that he overslept. Zoro was left alone to his own thoughts, silently fearing yet eagerly anticipating what the cook had in store for him. What in the _hell _was wrong with him?

:~:

Luffy excitedly hopped off the Merry, shouting the word "adventure" over and over to the heavens. Nami and Robin calmly departed down the gangplank while Chopper dragged a quivering sharpshooter effortlessly in Heavy Point. It had been hours since Nami had planned the treasure hunt, making sure everyone got what they absolutely needed from the markets beforehand, and her eyes sparkled as gold belli signs the entire time. Sanji waved them off as they ventured further off the shoreline and into the thickening forest up ahead. With the galley and storage room restocked for weeks to come, the cook let the most impish smile he's ever made in his life flicker across his lips. He had no more worries, other than protecting his fridge from raids at night. But for the rest of the day...the blonde man glanced at the bag he held loosely in his hand as he chuckled. Zoro was _his_.

"Damn it all," the swordsman grunted, setting down the single piece of paper he asked Nami for earlier. This was his training, since it would be completely idiotic to even try lifting one of his lesser weights. Hell, the paper was giving him a hard time the more repetitions he did. And he'd only done three! Of _two_!

Okay, so he couldn't blame his lack of concentration or lack of strength _entirely_ on the sea witch. Sanji's words had gotten him a bit, dare he say it, excited and eager for what was to come. He heard the crew leave already, but couldn't be sure if Sanji went with them. If he did, who would protect him in case the ship got raided? Did Roronoa Zoro need protection? Hell no! But...perhaps admitting it to himself wouldn't be so much of an ego-buster. Alright then. Yes, he needed protection and, frankly, he was considering lying low in the bunkroom if Marines or other pirates _did_ in fact show. Despicable, but this is why he hoped he wasn't on board alone.

"What are you still doing in here?" the cook's voice smoothly flowed from behind him, "I'm not feeding you again."

Zoro scoffed, "Don't say it as if I'm some kind of animal."

"Oh, but you are." The swordsman couldn't have been more perplexed or angered at that; he'd call himself a bit sloppy but certainly not a damn _animal_. Sanji chuckled while setting down a beige handbag on the counter top as Zoro skeptically watched. The blonde kept his back towards the other, hiding a malicious grin. "You know, mosshead, I've always wanted a cat. But I've spent most of my life on ships, so a pet besides a damn goldfish was out of the question. However, a thought came to me yesterday. A cat depends on their owner, right? To protect them, to feed them, to shelter them; to care in general."

"Why are you telling me this...?"

The cook rummaged through the bag's contents and pulled something out, keeping it out of Zoro's sight as he turned to face him. Sanji's innocent twitch of the lips was more of a miniature smirk than anything as he continued, slowly inching towards other. "Then I started thinking. Who needs protecting? Who needs to be fed? Who sleeps all over the ship?" Standing directly in front of the curious swordsman, Sanji quickly slapped something on top of his head, fastening what felt like straps to his hair. Zoro let him, obviously, but wasn't the least bit amused at the situation. He hadn't got a good look of what the object was, but he could make a shitty guess. Zoro reached up immediately to tug the blasted thing off, but his wondering hand was swatted back down to his side. "No fussing with your cute little ears now," Sanji teasingly scolded.

"Come on, really? You're not actually going to force me to wear this, are you?" Zoro huffed irritably. There wasn't a chance in hell that someone would catch him wearing this fuzzy, plastic monstrosity. Nodding with a ridiculously lusty gaze, the cook dug deeper into that damn bag, oh what more terrors laid in it. A long, black and orange curled tail soon followed after a small box, its contents still unknown. The tail was clearly made out of fabric with a metal or pipe cleaner interior; Zoro hadn't seen the ears, but of course they had to match. So...he was some sort of domesticated tiger, not a regular cat? And why the hell wasn't it bothering him as much as it should be?

"Consider it another form of a lesson in manners. For instance, learning how not to tell someone to piss off when they ask you something or call for you."

"Mainly you, right?" Zoro scoffed, crossing his arms stiffly.

Sanji ignored that, though it was entirely true, "We'll see how well you do when everyone comes back tomorrow."

"And what the fuck kind of excuse should I use?" the swordsman growled fiercely, "I suddenly got a knack for playing _dress up_? Don't you think this is getting a bit too suspicious, co-" A choked sound curdled in Zoro's throat as soon as the nickname almost formed, and he felt ghost touches of the blonde man's fingers on him, forcibly covering his mouth once again, though said person only stared expectantly, keeping his precious cooking tools to himself. "T-This is getting suspicious...Sanji."

Sanji grinned to himself. Suspicious? That sounded like Zoro didn't want anyone to know what they were doing. This obviously meant he didn't want to be found out. Did Zoro _not _want to stop the cook? The very thought sent excited shivers throughout his body. Why did that awkwardly turn him on? Not to mention that it seemed his "lessons" were working extraordinarily well so far. Yes, he had caught that little slip of the tongue; he wasn't a moron. He should know from previous experience how many times he had to respond to his so-called "second name". Zoro fussed with his ears regardless, hesitantly poking here and there as Sanji sneakily strapped the matching tail's cord onto his waist. He noticed immediately, but never once tried to pry it off. Sanji smiled knowingly. Zoro probably knew he wouldn't be able to anyway. "Why isn't it dragging me down?" he questioned, referring to the tiger tail currently curled into his lower back.

"There's helium inside the metal, so it's light. I took that into count for you when I bought it," Sanji stated earnestly. Zoro blinked in confusion. Sanji sure was...thinking about him a lot. Which is oddly flattering.

It began to darken outside; the galley's porthole gladly informed them of the day's early ending. The cook had left the job of explaining to the first mate. That is, until he remembered how bad the other was at lying, so Sanji told him something very simple. "You...just like cats."

"That might fool Luffy, but there is no way in hell that would work for anyone else. _I _don't even believe that's believable," Zoro criticized lightly. "Face it. There's no logical way for me to explain this."

"But it goes so well with the lesson!"

Zoro's face flushed deeply. "I-...is that what you've been calling this shit?! Honestly, you bastard! You've been acting like I'm some damn undisciplined kid in need of a _lesson_, and _this _was how you gave it?! As if I've...I've..." Zoro swallowed thickly, staring at the slightly aroused man before him, "Like I've been a...fucking bad boy!"

A hot pair of lips was on his own in mere seconds, and Zoro couldn't help but welcome them. He was so furious yet so turned on that it confused the hell out of his body. He wasn't sure whether to fight back or grind against the other. Sanji's hands were annoyingly wondering all over his torso under his shirt, but he didn't necessarily want it to stop. Zoro soon discovered his own limbs had been thrown around the cook's neck, willingly or not, he wasn't entirely sure. Attentive, persistent licks on his ear made his knees buckle, and a gasp escaped involuntarily. Sanji chuckled lowly, "You haven't been a bad boy lately, so I suppose I should reward you. Would you like that, Marimo~?"

The seductively said words did more to Zoro's libido than he would have liked to admit. There was no possible way anyone _couldn't_ link that to sexual activities. The swordsman's pride was shamelessly tossed aside as he nodded eagerly, causing the blonde to actually laugh. He slipped away for a moment towards the counter, and grabbed the small package Zoro saw him pull out from the bag earlier. It was quite colorful, with big bold kanji letters spread across the front. Zoro couldn't read it from where he awkwardly stood (mind you that he had a raging hard-on and his shirt was ruffled). Once the cook opened it, Zoro's face twisted in disgust. Inside were bite-sized pieces of terribly sweet mochi. Surely the blonde knew he didn't like sweet things?

Sanji noticed his scowl of distaste, and grinned slyly. He tossed one into his mouth and hummed, "It's a different kind of mochi, Moss-head, so don't get all judgmental. It was marinated in cherry flavored sake." Zoro's ears perked up a bit at the mention of alcohol. He hadn't drunk sake in two days, which was way over his usual time limit. He held out his hand with an extremely excited expression, wanting taste it right away. Sanji, however, only pointed to the floor expectantly. The swordsman frowned and stared for what felt like an eternity, waiting for the other to just give him the damn thing already.

"What're you doing?" Zoro eventually spoke.

"Sit, Marimo-kitty."

"..." Were they really doing this? The _entire_ act? With a defeated huff of breath, Zoro flopped onto the bench, seated at the table, and held out his hand again impatiently. There, he sat, right? Okay. That was easier than he thought. Sanji sighed, seemingly in disappointment, which Zoro caught instantly. Did he do something wrong?

The blonde scowled irritably, "Animals don't belong at the table, do they?"

"Chop-"

"_Chopper_," Sanji sneered, angered that Zoro just had to bring him into this, "is a man-reindeer, so he doesn't count."

"Technically, aren't I a man-tiger? 'Cause-" His words were cut off by a something being shoved into his mouth; it was unexpectedly delicious, and easily addictive. Then he realized, had the cook did that just to shut him up? Before he could even get pissed, Sanji grabbed his upper arm roughly and forced him to his knees. "There," he gave a cocky grin, and then added, "Now stay." Zoro glared heatedly up at him, but didn't move as the cook retrieved another item. Zoro could only imagine how many more humiliating things remained.

And then, his mouth got considerably dry.

There Sanji stood, sexy smirk and an aura of complete and utter desire, holding what made the swordsman's heart beat quicken.

A large, dark purple dildo with a cord connected to the bottom. Zoro had no idea what was on the other side of the cord, since it was still inside the bag. His erection hadn't gone down yet, and seeing the sex toy didn't help. If anything, his cock twitched in anticipation. Chuckling broke his trance, and he focused on the cook again, who couldn't stop cackling mentally. Seriously, Zoro was turn into more of a sex slave than a disciplined person like he originally planned, but, come to think of it, was that really such a horrible thing? "Like what you see? Wow, you really are a little whore. Or...are you just in heat?" Sanji teased. Of course, Zoro kept quiet, not knowing how to respond to something like that. Because, yes, he liked what he saw; very much so. However, he wasn't going to fucking beg for it. His poor pride and ego were diminished enough. There wasn't a battle in the world that he won that could help them. Perhaps he should just stay silent for once, and maybe the cook would be done soon. That could work, right?

"I want an answer, Marimo. A _proper_ answer."

"Proper" probably meant calling the bastard "master." Zoro folded his arms across his chest moodily and gazed out the porthole. Sanji didn't seem please with this reaction. "Zoro..." he warned, noticing how hard the other fidgeted, "not answering counts as being a very bad kitty. You won't get any more treats."

"Fuck your treats! I want to take this shit off and sleep without getting harassed!"

Oh, fuck. The first mate paled slightly at his own foolish outburst. Who knows what the cook would do to him? Fear sunk into the pit of his stomach like a boulder. That accidentally came out on impulse! Sanji watched in amazement as Zoro sincerely panicked, and fumbled for his words. "I hadn't meant that! I..." Realization hit him hard like a pound of bricks. _I...__**hadn't**__ meant it?_

Clearly, Sanji wasn't expecting that. His face burned a bright red at the honest confession, and Zoro wasn't sure which of them should be the most embarrassed. Everything had engulfed an uncomfortable silence after that; Zoro hadn't moved an inch from the floor, and the blonde man couldn't decide whether to continue this act or not. _Why the fuck did I just say that?_ Zoro let out a shaky puff of air as his arms dropped down to their sides.

"You...do you want this?" Sanji's voice had dropped into a raspy octave, vulnerable and genuinely curious. Zoro had no choice; he couldn't just take everything he said back without leaving some kind of suspicion.

"Look, I...I don't really know what the hell is wrong with me. You are a mean, manipulative bastard in your own ways, but...yeah, I want it. I'll admit to it. And I don't care if you think I'm some kind of weird freak for wanting this, and not being a fucking lady loving nympho like you. Frankly, I have a lot of shit of my mind being powerless, and I don't need you clogging it up as well."

"Wait, Zoro," Sanji stuck his hands in his pockets since he didn't know what to do with them, "What if I told you I wanted this, too?"

"You're fucking with me. A pussy maniac like you wouldn't want this. You've already made that clear when you basically raped me. So don't give me that crap, cook. I'm going back on my word to myself. If you come near me again, I swear when that damned witch returns, I'll fucking kill you," Zoro growled. Fire was visible in his eyes; a sign of complete seriousness and determination. Sanji could tell he wasn't bluffing.

"And what if I tell everyone how you've kept an important secret from them?! You're the one who didn't want them to know! We could've needed you to steer the router, or take the helm, or fucking fight off marines for that matter!"

Zoro was speechless. It seems that they came to a stalemate. Regardless, Zoro ripped off the cat ears and tail violently and clumsily got to his feet. Most of the blood in his body had taken a detour down south, at least, that's what the swordsman blamed the lack of balance on. "It's settled then," he scowled bitterly, "You don't tell them, and I don't tell them. Now fuck off forever." He stormed out of the galley, though he really had no clue where he could avoid Sanji on a damn ship. So, instead of jumping off the Merry and probably ending up ass backwards in the forest, Zoro settled for burying himself in multiple blankets in his hammock. Well, it was done. He was positive the cook wouldn't come near him from now on.

So why did his chest ache at the very thought?

Me: Well, that took a dark turn. I promised the next chapter won't be as late!


End file.
